Jedi Counsel
by Triskell
Summary: After the events of TPM, Obi-Wan must deal with his new responsibilities. Yoda offers his help. (implied Q/O SLASH)
1. Jedi Counsel I

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the universe, I own the little playground I've created here. No copyright infringement is intended. Still one of my fave stories, largely due to the fact that Yoda's so adorable ;D.

Allusions to SLASH. Very mild, but there.

The story takes place after the "Phantom Menace".  
Please note: // indicates Yoda's train of thought, so to separate it better from Obi-Wan's which comes as kind of indirect speech.

**JEDI COUNSEL**  
© Triskell, 1999

  
//Hard it has been for him. Hard to come to me. Hard to admit. Help him I must if I can.//   
  
Obi-Wan kept his gaze on the floor, kneeling in front of the venerated Jedi Master. Overcome by guilt, by fear and grief he had asked for help. It was hard on him, his pride... yet it needed to be done. He was in no condition to train Anakin. He felt useless, insecure and this just would not do.  
  
"Accept it you must. Dead Qui-Gon is. One with the Force." //Nod he does. But accept he will not.// "Look at me - stubborn you are. Hurt it does. Miss him, you do."   
  
Obi-Wan nodded, tears stinging in his eyes. Damn it, not even that much control. He was a failure to be sure. And he was only now beginning to realise how much he still had to learn. How much he had never been taught. How much he had really lost.  
  
"Shield yourself, you do. Keep to yourself, locking people out."   
  
"I...I should not have bothered you, Master Yoda. I'm sorry. I can't..."   
  
"Open up, you must. Soon. Or too late it will be. For you and for your apprentice." //Go he will now...//   
  
Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath. Master Yoda was expecting him to chicken out, to leave. He sure felt like it. But...there was still a warning voice in his mind, telling him not to make matters worse, to simply stay, to let go. He owed Qui-Gon at least a sincere try. No try! A sincere...session...with Yoda then. He would open up, no matter how much it hurt, he needed to fight his demons, his fear, his loneliness. If he succeeded there was still the chance he could fulfil his promise to his Master and train Anakin. He had to give all he had. There was no turning back now.  
  
//Stay he does. For Qui-Gon's sake. I must wait. Speak first, he must. Not me. The listener I am, the teacher, the student he is.//   
  
"I...miss..." Force, it hurt so much. He couldn't even say his name. "We were...very...close..." He stumbled over the word. Close? He had loved him with heart and soul - why couldn't he just say it, his feelings hadn't changed, they were still there, he had to let them go... "I...I...loved...my master..." Tears ran down his cheeks.   
  
//Admitted it, he has. Broken and lonely, he feels.// Yoda's heart ached just looking at the young man kneeling in front of him. //So young... So much pain. No time to cope. Hard it will be to comfort him.// He laid his hand on the short, dark-blonde hair. It had grown a little since he had severed the Padawan braid, but he still looked like an apprentice, with his tear-chained face even more like a little boy who had lost everything, and didn't know where to turn to.  
  
"Accept it you must. Dead, your master is. Dead, your lover is. Gone his body has - mingled with the Force. With you he is. In you he dwells. Keep him in your # heart you can. Lose him you never will."   
  
Grey-blue eyes fixed on the Jedi Master. "He is in my heart. But..."   
  
"Time it will take. Let him go, you must. Accept his death. Understand it you will. In time." The words were older than the Jedi themselves, some said as old as time and they sounded somewhat comforting, though Obi-Wan could not yet believe them. "No death there is, only the Force."  
  
The young man was still crying pitifully. There was no way he could have stopped the tears. His control was shattered. He had told Yoda his deepest, most intimate secret, the core of his troubles. Losing his teacher, mentor and fatherly friend had broken his spirit, losing his lover had cost him half of his soul.   
  
The little creature in front of him patted his head and, leaning on his cane, whispered in his ear. "Much to learn you have. But a Knight you are. Proud of his student Qui-Gon can be."   
  
It was too much. Being praised so unexpectedly, in such sincere tones broke all of Obi-Wan's fragile control. He sobbed, clutching at the Jedi Master's robes like a toddler, letting go. His tears washed his pent up anguish away, letting his repressed anger flow with it, releasing tension to the Force.   
  
//Cry you must, Obi-Wan. Better you will feel after it.//   
  
Yoda's voice echoed softly in the young man's mind. Why was he helping him? Why was he so damn understanding? He was beginning to be desperately annoyed with himself, his insecurity came back. He was not yet ready to be a knight, much less have an apprentice. He had promised... His body shook with the strength of his sobs, even as they subsided and he settled to pulling back from the Jedi Master, trembling unsteadily.   
  
"Meditate you must, Obi-Wan. But first, deal with your fears you must." //Help you, I will, if you let me.// A soft mental remark. Helpful and sincere.   
  
"I'm...not ready. Anakin...is strong...I...if I fail..."   
  
"Fail Qui-Gon you will ?" Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes on the floor, shame creeping into him.   
  
He was absolutely helpless, just a heap of misery. Drowning in fears. Why, by the Sith did Master Yoda think him worthwhile of his attention at all ?   
  
"My apprentice Qui-Gon was. My friend. Knew him I did. Know you, I do. Understand you both. Talented you are. Passed your trials you did. Made your master proud. Made him happy." Grey-blue eyes all but pierced the ancient Jedi Master at the last sentence. "Knew of you I did. Ask for advice, Qui-Gon did. Light of his life he called you. Part of him you were. Part of you he remains."   
  
Where did he only get his insights from. Yoda sure knew exactly what he was thinking, feeling, hoping.   
  
"The truth it is. Look at me, see it you will." The truth? Had he lost so much more than he knew?   
  
Though he might attempt to deny it - he felt better. He had lost his love, his friend, his master...but he was still with him - in his heart, his mind. One with the Force. The Force all around him. His beloved always near him... Yoda's eyes shone in the equivalent of a brilliant smile as he felt the young man grasping the concept. "There is no death, there is the Force. I think I understand now, Master Yoda."   
  
//Comprehend he does. Good. Insecure he still is...// "Fear the boy you do."   
  
A simple statement. Seemingly nonsensical, but, he had to admit there was truth in it... "He is strong. I...at times I don't know how to control him, what to say, how to...react. I'm...afraid of failing in his training."   
  
"Always in motion is the future. Before you the path lies. Chosen to honour Qui-Gon you have. Keep your promise you will. Face destiny you must. Accept the future when it comes."   
  
Obi-Wan silently turned the words in his head, again and again. Yoda was right. If he gave up Anakin he would slight his lover's last wish, his master's request. He couldn't do that. So he had chosen already. He had to train the boy, give his best. There was nothing else he could do.   
  
"No more expect of you we do. No more Qui-Gon asked of you."   
  
The young man nodded. Give your best. Don't try. Just do it. Move forward. He still didn't believe he could do it. "I...Master Yoda, I know what I must do, what I will do eventually, but...I feel like a Knight in my...fighting skills. I'm sure of them, know that I'm capable of teaching Anakin in these...I...wish I had learned more...in other aspects..."   
  
"Be here I will. Ask me you can. Teach you what you think you missed." All businesslike Yoda shuffled to his chair. "Good start you have made. Stand behind you the council will."   
  
Obi-Wan bowed, still on his knees. Though he still wasn't sure he deserved all this kindness he felt like a great weight had been taken from him. "I... Thank you. I would be honoured to be taught by you, Master Yoda." He could rely on him. He wasn't alone. There was someone who understood, who cared. He had friends, he chided himself. Queen Amidala, or Padme as he preferred calling her, Captain Panaka, Jar-Jar, Bail Organa - he was not alone, never had been. All he had to do was reach out and they would be there. A slow smile spread across his face.   
  
"Thank you, Master Yoda." He lowered his shields, projecting his gratitude, as he was unable to put it in words.   
  
The Jedi Master's countenance glowed with friendly mirth. "Welcome you are, Obi-Wan. Meditate now. See you at dinner I will." The young man smiled, bowing silently and leaving the council chamber.  
  
"Thank you, Master. I wish I had been able to..."   
  
"Wait, you must. Not ready he is yet. Heal he will in time..."   
  
Qui-Gon nodded. Standing beside Yoda in the vast room he wondered what the future would hold in store for his beloved. But he would be there, waiting, standing by his side... There is no death, there is the Force. He smiled. Wise words indeed...  
  
  
The End…   
  
  
Or on to "Jedi Council II – Night Falls on the Morning..."


	2. Jedi Counsel II (Night Falls on the Morn...

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the universe, I own the little playground I've created here. No copyright infringement is intended. Still one of my fave stories, largely due to the fact that Yoda's so adorable ;D.

Allusions to SLASH. Very mild, but there.

This is kind of a sequel to "Jedi Counsel", though it is a complete story in its own right. Thanks a million to RinSong and Kir, your kind words are responsible for this story ;-).  
The story takes place approximately 5 years after the "Phantom Menace" and "Jedi Counsel".  
Please note: // indicates Yoda's train of thought, so to separate it better from Obi-Wan's which comes as kind of indirect speech...

**NIGHT FALLS ON THE MORNING  
(JEDI COUNSEL Part 2)**  
© Triskell, 1999

  
It had been another painful session with Master Yoda. Like so many others before. Obi-Wan slumped down on his bed. He didn't sigh. There was no breath left. He sensed Anakin's presence in the adjoining room. The little boy...Sith, he was a teenager now, almost a man...he ought to have been given "the talk" by now... Well, in a way he had done it. He had explained sex and love and relationships to his Padawan. Though he had never touched upon the subject of his teacher, his mentor and lover. Qui-Gon's name had hung unspoken between them. Anakin had understood, felt the meaning. He was sure of that.   
  
***  
  
//The boy, the boy, always the boy it is. Worry too much he does. Exhaust himself he will. Not listen he does. Painful his presence is. Neglect his own well-being he does. Mindful he is only of his promise. Do something I must. Meditate I will. A solution there must be. If there is not, find one I must...//  
  
***  
  
Anakin should not be his concern right now. The boy...teen...oh whatever...Sith...now he would be cursing himself and a dozen others who had nothing to do with the whole thing in every language he knew - and some of those he didn't... Travelling with his Master he had learned more than just the skills of a Jedi...  
  
Damn it. Now there he was again. It wouldn't do to be preoccupied. He had worked so hard. He had learned. Yoda had taught him with endless patience, devoting so much time to him. And all this effort was simply wasted on him. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight. He doubted he'd ever be a Master... NO!!! "That's it. Quit thinking of your own worthlessness and get back to the matter at hand. " His voice was low, rough, strained. A barely audible whisper in the quiet of the darkness, the calming presence of the soothing blanket of a seemingly interminable starry night.  
  
***  
  
//Weary he is. Lonely. Touch him, I can. Comfort him, I do. Haunted he is. Unable to bond with his Padawan. Only a training bond there is. No real closeness. Hard to accept the boy. Hard to be his friend. Understand him, I do. Approve of it, I must not. I cannot. Listen he does. Patient he is. Hungry to learn. Use his knowledge, he cannot. Or dare not ? Questions there are. Answers are needed. Find them I must. Soon...//  
  
***  
  
It wasn't Anakin's fault. The boy was a great Padawan. A little stubborn, restless at times. Nothing he hadn't been himself at that age. He understood him. At least that was what he thought. Yet he didn't reach out. Didn't let him in. They were Teacher and Apprentice, separated by a sheer vastness, a gulf Anakin couldn't bridge and Obi-Wan didn't want to. Or dare to. He had only just touched the subject when talking to Master Yoda. Only just. They would have to dwell on it...soon. He had to be prepared. Find his own answers. Some things were meant to be his own concern. No one could take away the responsibility he had for the boy...teen...whatever. Or for his training.   
  
***  
  
//Taking risks, he is. Talk to him I will. Wake him if I must.// The little figure of the venerable Jedi Master shuffled towards the quarters Obi-Wan shared with his apprentice. Nobody would have supposed he was capable of that brisk a pace, considering his age and his calm demeanour.   
  
***  
  
Obi-Wan sat upright in a swift movement, sensing the familiar ripple in the Force. He cursed. Now that was it. And he hadn't even managed to sort out his emotions, his anxieties. Well, that was it. He couldn't help it. He flung his feet out of bed in a noiseless motion, softly creeping to the door, slipping out to join the waiting Jedi Master. One more short touch on Anakin's mind - good, he was still fast asleep. At least his shielding was perfectly intact. He followed Yoda out into the gardens like a little child, settling down beside his elder in a rather undignified heap. The moonlight painted shadowy circles of silvery white around them - silver like the streaks in his lover's hair...  
  
//Qui-Gon. Always on his mind he is. Even now. Resolve this we must. This night the turning point is. Depend on it the future does. Know it I do. Tell him, I cannot. Understand it he must. His destiny - in his decision it lies. Deal with this he must. So young he still is. Bear such a burden he should not.//  
  
The soft shaking of the head - Yoda was deeply troubled by something. Obi-Wan could only guess that it was him, yet, Sith he knew whatever was causing this silence to be so damn foreboding was his fault. His doing. He had got himself into a good bit of trouble this time. And no-one there to pull him out. Not his Master, not the little creature beside him who turned big, warm eyes on him, shining with remorseful pity.   
  
"Like this I do not. Say it I must. Hurt you I might..."   
  
"I...I know you mean well. I will listen to you and accept whatever you have to tell me."   
  
//Barely audible his voice is. One with the stillness of the night. Tired he is. Hopeless he is. And hopeful. Trust me he does...//   
  
It was hard on the Jedi Master. Never before had he been faced with such a situation. Not in all his years, decades, centuries of teaching, of learning. Obi-Wan needed advice and guidance. And he had given himself over completely in the care of his Master's teacher. //Alone I am in this.// It was a mental sigh that didn't escape the old, well-constructed shields, flashing only briefly in the calm eyes.  
  
"Your apprentice the boy is. Train him well, you do. Skilled he is. Good fighter. Like yourself. Other subjects you teach not. Fail you will. Turn he might." Short, to the point, never menacing, simply stating the facts. Emotionless as could be.  
  
But Obi-Wan sensed the current of pity nevertheless. Yoda didn't like to reprimand him so sternly. He knew he had merited it. Every bit of it. Though he might not ever admit it, even to himself.  
  
"Let him in, you must. A friend, the boy needs. A teacher you are. Be there for him. Guidance he needs."   
  
"Master, I have talked to him, spent time with him...it's just that...I..."   
  
"Fear him, you do not."   
  
Sith, how did that guy always know him so well. He had wanted to put it all on his being afraid of Anakin's power. A lame excuse. It ran so much deeper. Down to a level he didn't want to venture to.  
  
"Talk to me, you must. Admit your feelings. Deal with them you will. One way, or the other. Suffer, Anakin will. Let down your apprentice you have."   
  
No hint of pity, not in the firm gaze, not in the steady figure. No wavering. This was to be the hardest lesson he had ever been taught. Obi-Wan sighed. He didn't want to. Not now. He wanted...  
  
"Sleep you cannot. Give up, you will not. Your responsibility the boy is. Stick to it you must."  
  
//Like it I do not. Hurt him I have. Sad his eyes are. Clouded. Expressionless they seem. Lose his trust I will. Think of it I must not. The boy my priority must be. Trained well, he needs to be...//  
  
"Master..."   
  
"Listen you must. Darkness have I felt. Near it is. Ever present. Cede, Anakin will. Be there you must. Need you he does."   
  
"He has friends. He and Amidala are..."   
  
"No. Accept this I will not. Know you I do. Lonely you are. Miss your lover. Let the boy feel it you do."   
  
Obi-Wan was taken aback. The ancient Jedi's tone was harsh, a stony edge to its quietness. No emphasis was needed. He understood the implication. The problem he had with Anakin lay in his relationship with Qui-Gon...  
  
"I have accepted his death. I have moved on with my life, as you told me to..."  
  
//Bad this is. Deny he does. Tell him what I know I must not. Admit it he must. Only then advise him I can.// It was difficult. Seeing the sadness in Obi-Wan, yet being firm. For the sake of another...the galaxy...   
  
//Hard to see the future is. Always in motion. Seen the Dark Side I have. Too often. Fight it I cannot. The key the boy is. Deal with it Obi-Wan must.//   
  
The little Jedi Master inclined his head. A gesture Obi-Wan knew only too well. He was resigning to...well, probably to the stubbornness of the idiot who sat beside him and made his life a Sith hell with his...   
  
"I can't." Two words conveying all the anguish, the pain the young man felt. Not at having lost his lover...   
  
"Lost your faith you have."   
  
//Nod he does. Worse than I thought it is...//  
  
A hand on his shoulder. Yoda's soothing mental presence. Once again he felt drained. Every one of these sessions and discussions cut through his defences, his emotional barriers, driving deep into him, laying him open. He was left vulnerable. No-one else would ever be allowed to see this side of him. Only two people had he ever trusted with his innermost feelings. Qui-Gon and Yoda...  
  
"Open yourself to the boy you must. Be his friend you should." Obi-Wan nodded. It sounded too easy, by far.   
  
"Master, it...I...my defence is…necessary...I...don't want to..."   
  
"It will hurt. Trust me you do. Trust Qui-Gon you did. With your life. Trust Anakin you do not."   
  
"He is...was...he is my...responsibility. I didn't...chose...want him."   
  
There, he had said it. Found out what kept him from being the friend his apprentice sought in him. He hadn't wanted the boy. Sith. What had he been thinking. He couldn't actually say he hadn't chosen him. He had accepted his lover's last request, made it his quest, built his future on it. He had taken Anakin as his Padawan, settled down to a life with him, teaching him, yet he had not got close enough, had not done all that was necessary to establish the basis for a good relationship with his charge.  
  
"Trust you he does. Look up to you. His family you are. Accepted him you have. Learned to live with him you have. But trust him you do not." WHY? The question, though never spoken hung heavily in the air between them, suspended in the chilly breeze that swept through the hazy moonlit gardens.  
  
"I...feared him. In the beginning, that is. Now...I...Sith...forgive me, Master I..."   
  
"Curse if you will. Offended I am not. Say what you want you should. Get it out now you must. Easier to deal with it will be."  
  
He wanted to hug the little Jedi Master. So much understanding. It was beyond his reasoning. He was so much trouble, constantly needed Yoda's advice, his patience, his guidance to get through...  
  
"Why are you doing this? I mean, don't you get tired of all my howling, my..."   
  
"Tedious you are not. A problem in you I do not see. Remind of Qui-Gon you do. Honoured by your trust I am. Prove worthy of it, I want to."  
  
So simple. Such plain words. Obi-Wan knew for certain that he would never forget them for as long as he lived. Had Qui-Gon's love been communicated in every gesture, every tone of his voice, so did Yoda speak to his heart, his soul in the very same manner, comforting and soothing him, telling him he was not alone, he was loved and accepted, with all his faults.  
  
"He...Anakin...I...he is very lively, open, I...if I let myself get carried away by his manner, I..."  
  
//Show patience I must. Find his answer he will. Work with it we can.//  
  
Obi-Wan slowly turned his thoughts around in his head. So many, all the emotions and feelings connected to his Padawan... Figuring out what they meant, what his reactions implied - Sith be damned! It couldn't be that? So simple...so... Shit... This was...  
  
"Found an answer you have."   
  
"It...Master, that can't be it...I mean..."   
  
"Tell me. Listen I will. Judge you I will not."   
  
"It seems that...what I thought of..." A deep breath. "I guess that if I give in to Anakin's friendly, open, uncomplicated view of life, let myself get caught up in it...I will lose control and...I don't have that much left, I mean, I'm struggling so hard to keep everything together everyday. My life, my thoughts, my memories, there are things I don't want to share with Anakin. Things I can't say, and...if I let go, trust him...I might let him know..."   
  
"Some things shared must not be."   
  
Yoda nodded. Good. It was true. He didn't want his feelings for Qui-Gon to be laid out for the boy to see. This was his own private grief. But his control only extended to a certain level. It had been hard to pull himself together after he had lost his Master, his lover. A part of him had died with the man in his arms. He had shielded himself since then. Only Yoda had been allowed to understand. To touch him.   
  
"I don't know how to keep all I want to be private and personal from slipping out to Anakin. I'm...not used to this anymore...I..."   
  
"Shared everything with Qui-Gon you have. All your feelings. Forgotten how to draw the line... New the bond with your apprentice is. Afraid of letting him know too much about you, you are."  
  
"What can I do about it ?"   
  
"Help you, I cannot, Obi-Wan. See for yourself you must. Divide what to share and what to keep to yourself. Necessary to sort out your emotions, it is. Take care of Anakin, I will. A week you have from tomorrow. Know where to find me you do."  
  
A nod towards the young man, then the Jedi Master made his way towards the Jedi Temple, shuffling quietly along the hallway to wake Anakin and tell him to join him for breakfast.   
  
In the misty dawn Obi-Wan sighed once more, before pushing himself up to stroll around the grounds aimlessly, pondering over the conversation. It would be a lot of work finding the equilibrium between a friendly open relationship with the boy and the necessity to keep as much of his life from his apprentice as was possible. Sharing his thoughts and feelings freely had come easily with Master Yoda in his deepest conflict after his lover's death. But only Qui-Gon had ever possessed his soul, been part of him, shared his spirit. Anakin never could, nor anyone else...  
  
As the slim figure vanished in the early morning haze, Qui-Gon's silhouette lingered for a moment on the rustling breeze. "I wish I could comfort you, beloved, but the time has not yet come..."  
  
  
The End…  
  
  
Or on to "Jedi Council III – A Part of History..."


	3. Jedi Counsel III (A Part of History)

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the universe, I own the little playground I've created here. No copyright infringement is intended. Still one of my fave stories, largely due to the fact that Yoda's so adorable ;D.

Allusions to SLASH. Very mild, but there.

This could be seen as kind of a sequel to "Jedi Counsel" and "Night Falls on the Morning" though it is a complete story in its own right... Thanks a million to RinSong and Kir, your kind words are responsible for this ;-).  
The story takes place approximately 17 years after the "Phantom Menace".  
Please note: // Indicates Yoda's train of thought, so to separate it better from Obi-Wan's which comes as kind of indirect speech... ** indicates Obi-Wan's telepathic train of thought

**A PART OF HISTORY  
(JEDI COUNSEL Part 3)**  
© Triskell, 1999

  
There would be no questions, no accusations. The Council had been very understanding. Yet Master Yoda had asked him to join him for a walk later that afternoon. It was clear they needed to discuss the events of the past few days. It was painful. He was in turmoil. It wouldn't do to cleanse himself in meditations. He had tried... Sith... given all he had, all his patience, his resolve. To no avail. This chapter would be closed. No more to be written. Tonight it would be part of history...  
  
//Hard. Hard like before. Only deeper the hurt is, this time. Think I must. Careful I must be. Judge him I cannot. Need a friend he does. More than ever. Talk to him I will. Be there. Resolve this matter we must. Soon. Approaching, the Darkness is. Prepared we must be. Prepared as best we can...//  
  
"Master Yoda." A respectful bow, deep, easy.   
  
//Well-trained he is. Good at hiding his thoughts. // "Obi-Wan. Show you something, I will."  
  
What was that? He had honestly believed there would be a lesson, a way of letting him cope with his failure. And now? They were going to look at something? Well, he wouldn't complain. Qui-Gon had often masked a lesson with a pleasant attire. A smile came to his eyes, though it didn't show on his face.   
  
//Smile he would. He should. Resolved never to open again, he is. //  
  
"Understand you, I do. Not want to open up, you do. Go on like this, it cannot."   
  
"Yes, Master."  
  
//Speak to me like to Qui-Gon he does. No good this is. Talk to me he must. //  
  
"Tell me you must. This time the truth I want to hear."   
  
Oh Sith, once again Master Yoda had found him out. What he had told the Council had been the truth, only had he let his feelings, his thoughts and his lingering guilt hide away behind his shields. Now he would have to go through it all again...experience all the hurt, the deceit, the sense of failure...  
  
"We were on Naboo. Ana...My Padawan and I. Visiting his wife, Queen Amidala. Like...so many other times. But...something was wrong. With him. Amidala...felt it too...she came to me...one night, ...she asked me...what it was - if we had...quarrelled. And then...we…he..."  
  
//Guilty, he feels. Not help us that will. Sith be damned. // Yoda smiled to himself. After all this time taking care of Obi-Wan's thirst for knowledge, teaching him in the Code, the subtleties of the living Force he seemed to have picked up some of the more...expressive phrases his student used from time to time. Though it had to be said that he - pronounced them - well, in a far more dignified manner, taking the edge out of the curses...  
  
"Go on, you must, Obi-Wan. Deal with this we will. As before we have done."   
  
Obi-Wan cringed inwardly. This was definitely going to be a long day. Difficult as well - his soul would be lying completely open and vulnerable before the ancient Jedi Master once again. There was nothing he could do about it. He might lie, shield himself... but Yoda deserved better. He had offered help and encouragement, been there for him, out of a sincere desire to take care of him. And that was why he had come to see more than a teacher in the little green creature. He was a true friend...a father figure, in a way like Qui-Gon had been to him so many years... And he owed him the same respect he did his first Master.  
  
A deep sigh. "Anakin suddenly burst into the room...saw Amidala and me...I...she...I had... hugged her to...comfort her...and he...accused me of...seducing his wife...of...breaching his trust, breaking his marriage apart... Amidala said he was wrong...he shouted at her...insults, language I had...I didn't know he had ever learned..."  
  
//Right I was. Deeper this runs. In his thoughts, Amidala is. Always. // "Love her, you do?"  
  
From anyone else, Obi-Wan would not have expected such an intimate question. But it was Yoda... he would be as impudent as he wanted if he thought it was necessary...a streak that, once again, reminded him of his lover at times...  
  
"Yes, Master. I love her. As a friend, a woman, a sister...but...not like I loved Qui-Gon. She...is a part of my life I...could hardly do without. Yet..."   
  
"No bed would you share with her."  
  
Blunt to the utmost, frank and absolutely to the point. The venerable Jedi Master. Obi-Wan's eyes sparkled with mirth for a moment.  
  
//Ah, rare this is. A smile I see in his eyes. Rare and precious. The boy I know there is. The man Qui-Gon loved.//  
  
"Accused you two, Anakin did. What else?"   
  
"He was very... he reduced Amidala to tears...she...feels for him as I...for Qui-Gon and...he broke her heart, tore it out...trampled on it..."  
  
Anger made its way into the soft, dignified voice. Only for a moment, then it was replaced by the calm serenity, Obi-Wan had learned to command, to channel and to use like his Master.  
  
//Feel for the girl, he does. Know what she goes through... Imagine it, I can. Bad this situation is. Very bad.//  
  
A wave of the tiny hand told Obi-Wan to continue. His voice was stretched to breaking point, his throat felt dry, the words came out in a hoarse whisper. "He... challenged me...the...Dark Side was with him. I...told...asked...pleaded...he never flinched. His...eyes were emotionless, his face...a mask...he came at me...I had to...defend..."  
  
A soft hand on his shoulder. "The fight, you need not talk about. Told the Council everything, you have. Wounded, Anakin was. Died, he should have. Disappear he did. The Dark Side- saved him, it has. A new apprentice the Sith Master has found."  
  
"I feel responsible. As if... I had... failed..."   
  
"Nonsense. Fail you did not. Clouded, Anakin's future was. Your best you did. Gave up part of yourself, you did. His friend you were. Sway him you could not."   
  
"I might have in the future...I...dreamt..."   
  
"Be that, it may. Always in motion, the future is. Bide your time you must."  
  
Neither of them spoke for a long time. Obi-Wan still believed he might have done better, yet it was good to hear Yoda tell him he wasn't to blame for the events of the past months. And he knew he had done all he could at the time. When Anakin began to slip away more frequently, to be rash, inattentive, neglected his lessons...he had taken what precautions he thought were necessary, talked to the boy...man. He had been turned down time and again, but he had not given up. He hadn't made it easy for his apprentice to slight him, to leave him. Yet he had done it.  
  
"Reveal himself, the Sith Lord will. A battle before us lies. Fight we must, soon. Die, many Jedi will..."   
  
"You believe the Sith...intend to destroy us ?"   
  
"In their way we are. Too powerful. Strong with the Light we are. Find them out we might. Stop them we could. All together."   
  
"But we can't all fight together, can we ? We will be separated...by chance, or accident or..."  
  
"Destiny. Right, Qui-Gon was. The Chosen One the boy is. Bring balance to the Force he will. Die all Jedi will. All but two... A Master and an Apprentice."  
  
Obi-Wan sighed. He had so wished Yoda wouldn't confirm what he had foreseen in his dreams and daytime visions.  
  
"With child, your friend is."   
  
"Yes, Master. I... have shielded her from Anakin...ever since...she found out."   
  
"Save the children you must. Jedi they will be. Need them, we will."   
  
"I will do my duty to Amidala...and my Padawan."   
  
Neither of them would call him by his new name yet. "Darth Vader", the Sith Lord. Apprentice to the darkest Lord of the Sith, who yet remained invisible, even though his hatred and power could be felt clearly by every Force sensitive. Anakin Skywalker had joined history...  
  
//See him again, I will. Once more. Its course, destiny will take...//  
  
A YEAR LATER...  
  
//Welcome you are, Obi-Wan.// **Master, Yoda.**   
  
No more words were exchanged. They walked in silence between the ruins of the Jedi Temple. The Clone Wars had left the Galaxy vulnerable and in turmoil. The Sith had destroyed all the Republic and the Jedi had once stood for. The only ones left, Obi-Wan and Yoda knew they couldn't stay.   
  
It was time to say good-bye. To take their place in the future. Chancellor Palpatine, the "Emperor" as he delighted in calling himself, had revealed his secret. Coruscant had stood in awe, now it was no more. The centre of the Republic would be the centre of the Galactic Empire.   
  
//Not much time we have.//   
  
**I have taken Amidala and her children to my friend Bail Organa, to Alderaan. They should be save there. The girl shows no great Force potential as yet, she will be hard to sense.**   
  
//Strong with the Force, the boy is. Shield him, you do.//   
  
**He has all his father's potential. It's very prominent, there's the possibility he might be detected.**  
  
//Take him away you will?//   
  
**Yes, Master. Amidala has given her consent. After I leave Coruscant I will take him to...Tatooine...**   
  
//Good, your decision is. Not go to his birthplace, the Sith Lord will. Fond memories, find there he might.//   
  
**I will ask...someone...I know...if they...**   
  
Yoda nodded. A relative of Obi-Wan's presumably. Someone who didn't like him all that much...   
  
**The boy will be safe with...Owen and his wife. I...will stay close, shield him.**  
  
//A hard life, it will be.//   
  
**I believe that is what Qui-Gon told Anakin about being a Jedi.**   
  
//Miss you, I will.//   
  
**Thank you. For everything.**  
  
Obi-Wan knelt down, taking the little creature in his arms. He didn't fight his tears. Grown-up he might be, yet it was not to be supposed he could leave the one friend he still had left... except Amidala...and he would even have to leave her... Loneliness. He shook off the thought.  
  
Yoda patted his last student's back. **I won't be the last, Master. I foresee you will train a Skywalker yet...**   
  
//The grin, I see. Tease me, you do... Proud of you I am.//   
  
They let go, Obi-Wan straightened his robe. It was time. //**May the Force be with you.**// they thought in unison. The ancient Jedi Master waved his stick after the departing figure, before he himself set out to find his transport.  
  
//Time it is for you, Qui-Gon. Need you he does. Ready he is.//  
  
A MONTH LATER  
  
Tatooine. He had never believed a name could hold so much scorn. He couldn't stand the planet anymore than when he first came here all those years ago. Here, the end of all his happiness had begun... He forced himself to forget about it. Damn, it would be a long time out here, in the dunes. Sand, the horizon a bleak streak of whitish yellow, twin suns, both as garish as one could imagine, glaring at him...  
  
The hut was sparsely furnished. His duty was done. Anakin's son, Luke, had been placed under the care of Obi-Wan's cousin Owen. He had grown up beside him, he was like a brother, and the closest thing to family he had ever had. They had been in touch. Not often, it had been more out of a duty. Now, he had asked the ultimate favour of this man. Taking care of a child whose father had turned to the Dark Side and who was strong in the Force himself... Not an easy task, but Owen had accepted it.  
  
Obi-Wan sighed as he settled down on the rug in the middle of the room. He felt old, all of a sudden...   
  
//Old? And you always told me, that I wasn't old. What does it make me when you think of yourself as old? Ancient?//   
  
It seemed as if he had just heard his lover's loving, mocking tone again. Deep inside his soul he felt an old wound breaking up again. "He's long dead. Qui-Gon is dead, one with the Force. I haven't heard him in all those years. I can't hear him now... The heat must have got to me." He would have to convince himself. If he failed in that now, he might find he was crazy before his task was completed. And that was something he could not allow.  
  
//I see you still take your duty very seriously. Master Yoda said you should be mindful of the future. He...has taught you well. Probably better than me in many aspects. I...had my reasons for not...talking to you.//   
  
"Like what ?" Damn, now he was actually giving in to the sensation of hearing the voice he loved so much inside his head. That was foolish. He must not indulge in memories. Concentrate on the moment. That was it. Forget the past, push the future aside, live...   
  
//I had no idea you took my teaching so seriously.// Mocking, soft, warm. It was Qui-Gon's voice...he was sure of it.   
  
"Who...What do you want ?" Obi-Wan's voice shook.   
  
//I don't wish to hurt you, my love. Look up, open your eyes. I'm here now.// Grey-blue eyes opened slowly, taking in the sight of a bluish glow around a silhouette whose curves were as familiar to Obi-Wan as his own body.  
  
**Qui-Gon.**   
  
//Yes, my love. It's me.//   
  
**You won't stay.**   
  
//We all have our time.//   
  
**Don't talk about destiny. I...why now ?**   
  
//Yoda...I felt...we both knew you were not ready to take me on.// A well-known grin. Mischievous twinkles in the startling blue eyes that sparkled in the Force-ghost as they had in the man.   
  
//I'm proud of you, Obi-Wan. You have proven you merit your place among the greatest of the Jedi.//   
  
**I...It's good to hear YOU say that.**   
  
//That's what Yoda said.//   
  
**What did he say ?**   
  
//That there would be a day when his praise would not be enough to fill the void anymore. When you would need a more...familiar presence to remind you that you are loved and that your efforts will not be in vain.//  
  
Obi-Wan smiled. A genuine smile.   
  
//You haven't smiled a lot in the past years, my love.//   
  
**I lost you, half of my soul. How could I just go on like before? I changed, love.**   
  
//Not as much as you think, my dear.//   
  
**Will we meet again?**   
  
//I hoped you'd want to...I'm glad you asked.//   
  
**Will we ?**   
  
//The Force gives us eternal life.//   
  
**So we will be together, after I die ?**   
  
//Yes, my love.//  
  
**Good, I'm tired of missing you.**   
  
//I hope the years won't seem too long to you.//  
  
**I'll think of the things I'll do to you, when we see each other again.**   
  
//I can't wait, beloved.//  
  
The bluish glow faded, along with the soft //May the Force be with you, my love.// Obi-Wan smiled. Though alone, he wasn't lonely...  
  
  
The End.


End file.
